When I am having Recreational Sex, I tend to be in a mood of; do I want to be watched or not? I tend to be a bit of an exhibitionist so I tend to want to attend parties where people are allowed to watch. There have also been times where some hot couple or couples are doing really doing hot stuff and I enjoy taking a seat and watching the show.
So what is the protocol?
Some lifestyle clubs encourage the opportunity to watch or be watched. Rooms are dedicated to this activity. When you go to a lifestyle club, make sure to ask if there is a room where you can just watch. Most have a place for that. But its always wise to verify before you go to the party.
To be watched but not touched.
Most clubs have a policy of asking before touching. Most quality couples will ask before they touch. They may ask if they can touch your breast, bottom or legs as a common example. If you do not want that from the couple having fun next to you, a simple no thank you is the right answer. If someone starts to touch without asking, a simple please no is a good way to make your intentions clear. If someone asks if they can join you, then we are just playing with each other this evening is a good response.
I just want to watch.
This is fine just make sure you are in an area where that is allowed. And be polite. No cat calls. Keep your voice low and to a whispers. Do be a distraction. Some clubs will require that couples watch together and not wonder off separately.
Is it ok if I get/give head from/to my spouse or significant other?
With most clubs, the answer is yes. If your significant other wants to play touchy feely with you while both of you watch, that is usually just fine.
Though some clubs frown on the guys standing there masturbating himself while watching.
Most of the time, couples do not ask when they get on the mattress in the group room (the rules may vary in other rooms), but I (as a girl) always like to ask if we they mind sharing the mattress. If they are interested in being touched, they may tell you that right then.
These are complex human interactions when dealing with sex, so there are so may ways things can evolve. The best approach is to over communicate and take things slowly. Let the girls take the lead in most situations.
Remember there are some parties and situations where if you get onto the mattress you are expected to dive into the orgy. Be aware of what you are getting yourself into.
If you are in a group room, it is generally understood and you will observe that there will be several couples on a mattress. Usually the mattresses are pressed together to produce one large play space. So people are close together in those spaces. There are private and semi private rooms where it is appropriate to ask before you join someone on the bed. This isn't necessary in a group room at most clubs.
What is acceptable often varies wildly. So it is always good to check with a host couple or the owners of the club. As a general rule, these things work out fine. If she wants to give you head while you and others watch, that will almost always be fine. In terms of solo male play, some clubs frown on guys watching the action and masturbating. It depends a LOT on the club. For example; at Whispers, males solo pleasuring themselves unless invited by a couple to do so as part of play would be frowned upon. At the Red Rooster, is a very common to see at every party. Some of the tourist traps, that is all you will see.
Couples Playhouse
Ice Lounge (have not been there yet, fairly new)
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The protocol can very from club to club, BUT most clubs this is ok. Even a little incidental touching, but do not reach over and grab a breast without asking first. In the group room where I am this evening, there are around 9 or 10 couples all over the mattresses. I plan to join them in a bit.