I have heard many a cautionary tale about not protecting ones privacy as it pertains to the lifestyle. I myself was outed once and it cost me. I have also had to change my cell number because I shared it with the wrong person.

Projecting your online persona in the lifestyle is very risky. It could impact your relationships with your friends, neighbors, family and clergy. It could bring you a lot of embarrassment. In my case, someone who wanted to have a tryst and who could not understand why I was not interested, would not take no for an answer, and then outed me. In actuality, the reason I wasn't interested was I had discovered he lived in my neighborhood and that was way to close to home for me.

I could write a book on why you need to protect yourself online. Instead I am going to give you another one of my Top 10 lists.

1) Never use a work email for lifestyle communications. Every week I see an email RSVP come into the club on someone's work email. The number of email addresses I see with .edu or .gov on the end is surprising. You should know that all email traffic is generally logged and archived.

2) Get a "play" or "lifestyle" email address. Email addresses are easy to obtain. Keep all of your online presences separate. I have a business email address for my company. I have a personal email address for friends and family. I have a gmail email address for all of my Android apps on my phone. And I have a hotmail email address for lifestyle fun.

3) NEVER use your name in your email address. Another thing I see every week is someone who uses an email to RSVP for a lifestyle event that has an email address with one or both of their names.

4) Use different email clients to help you keep accounts separated. I use Microsoft Outlook for business. I use em Client (best email client out there) for personal emails. I use Microsoft Mail for my naughty mail. I use the Chrome browser gmail and my phone for my Android and App mail.

5) PICTURES - never post pictures that are R or X rated. There can be exceptions around this rule but you will never find a picture of myself or my husband that is any racier than PG-13. Some of the adult lifestyle sites allow you to create private folders and let you specify or invite someone to see those pictures.

A bit more on #5. Dic-Pics. There are some women who want to see your dick. But most are turned off by it. I am MUCH more impressed by a sharp-dressed man than a man holding his pecker in his hand in front of a mirror. Now if you show me your tongue and can convince me that you know how to use it... you will likely get my attention.

Last word on #5. Action pics, X-rated pics, R-rated pics are great. I love looking at naked bodies. But it is common for people to steal these pictures and post them elsewhere. REPEAT - it is VERY easy to steal pictures off any site.

6) Watermark cycle pictures. Post your pictures on Facebook or Instagram, then use the Windows Clip to recapture the picture. Keep these pictures in a separate directory on your computer. If the pictures surface, you can prove they were on Facebook and then deny deny deny - like a DC politician. You can point out that those pictures of you were obviously stole from Facebook.

7) Do NOT use work computers or networks for the lifestyle. This includes looking at your private email. If you can, have a separate laptop or tablet for your naughty communications. Windows loves to put notifications on your screen. Often emails with subject lines. If you are in the middle of a presentation, and projecting your screen up on a display or projector, and suddenly an email notification asks if we are all set for the orgy on Saturday... well you can guess the rest.

8) Never use your real name. On Reddit, I do sometimes share my name in chat, but for posts, I use my initials - TMW. Those who know me, can figure it out pretty easily.

9) Pick a non-descript handle for all of your lifestyle profiles. If you are a Kasidie Member, SDC or Quiver, you can find my profile on those services and all use the same profile name. If you are a member of one of these, DM me and I will share my profile name. Never use; a name, a city, a state, a zip-code or an area code in a profile name. I use the same profile name everywhere except here on Reddit. I actually regret the profile name I picked.

10) Never, ever give out your phone number. I have a rule, we can chat via email and only email. And the chat features on Kasidie, SDC and Quiver. There will be no texting or sexting on my phone number.

11) Avoid the "Free" adult lifestyle sites. That's where the trolls live. They have nothing to lose if they get kicked off because there is no money invested. If they get kicked off, they just make up a new profile and go back to whatever got them kicked off in the first place.

Keep your two lives as separate as possible. Your vanilla day to day life and your naughty lifestyle life.

Last tip. Before you go to a lifestyle club, ask them how they protect your privacy. At my home club, everyone has to sign a strict non-disclosure agreement and cell phones are prohibited except at the photo wall. You cannot even pull it out to order an Uber. They make you step outside or stand next to the photo wall.

Kisses, TMW