Hello fellow lurkers! Yes, I'm talking to you ladies that don't post, that's right, you. I'm looking to make a longer term, more-than-just-physical connection with one of you, so strap in, because this post is going to be on the long side (I clocked somewhere between 15-20 minutes to read it on my final edit, so consider yourself warned) as I felt it was better to over include than not so you get as good of an idea of who I am and what I'm looking for as possible. Apologies in advance for the length. TL;DR at the end available for the more time conscious among you.

I'm not the type to go looking for a hookup, so I'm not aggressively trying to get into your pants (weird, I know, but hear me out here), but I've been doing the dating app circuit recently trying to find a partner, and I came across a profile that said they were looking for someone they could get to know, learn to trust, and then try out some things in bed with, and I think I really liked the sound of that, so is that something you'd potentially be interested in? I know people on here are generally looking for a little more instant gratification depending on how/what you're feeling on a given day, but I would really like to get to know you and be friends outside of a bedroom context first. Once we're friends, you're welcome to ask for whatever you want. The answer might not always be yes, but if I trust you, I'm willing to do a heck of a lot for a friend. I'm also a sucker for the friends to lovers thing, so if you'd be interested in potentially being in a relationship, that's something I would also look forward to working towards, and if not, that's perfectly fine, I won't force something if it's not there either, and I would be happy just making some friends around here if that's what you want to be, since I've been living out of province for the last couple years pre COVID, and moving back found out most of my old friends here have since wandered off. No pressure to move beyond internet friends though, I'm happy to chat here as long as you'd like before meeting.

I will admit that this post is somewhat motivated by a TV show. My mom got into Love is Blind recently, so I've been watching with her in the evenings, and there's a couple things that have stood out to me, both the good, in that I'd forgotten how well two people can get on just after meeting one another because of how well they just click, and the bad, in that so many of them just don't talk about deal breakers at the beginning. So many people go into relationships looking for something specific in a partner and I think forget that people are individuals and will be their own person, so going in and wanting them to be a specific way ends up with one of them inevitably getting hurt because they don't live up to the expectation in the other person's head. Honestly, all I'm looking for is someone kind and honest, that I like talking with, doesn't really want kids, isn't religious, or at least is liberal enough with their religion that they don't mind me not being so, and doesn't smoke or do drugs, or if they do, they're open to working towards quitting. Past that, I doesn't really matter to me what you look like, where you're from, or what you do. If I love who you are, I'll love the rest of you too.

Historically, I tend to get along well with nerdy, curvy, and borderline nymphomaniacal women. Total coincidence there, since that's never been what I've gone looking for, but I'm at three for three now, so evidently there's some kind of pattern, which is weird, since I wouldn't say my physical neediness is particularly high (well, I do really like hand holding, hugs, and cuddling, but like actual cuddling, not like I'm a sex fiend here or anything, though I would honestly say if I had to pick one physical contact thing I had to stick with for the rest of my life and couldn't ever touch anyone else in any other way, I'd say cuddling, even knowing it would mean I could never have sex again.) but if you're concerned with my lack of physical drive, I tend to rise to the level a partner is at, so I still absolutely enjoy being with someone more horny than me, it just comes at the expense of not being the best at initiating, because I don't seek it out often, and I'm always afraid a potential partner doesn't want to and I'll just annoy them or cross a boundary, so I do much better if asked first. I'm not pushy, and I follow instructions well, though once I know you want to do something, I'm much better at rolling with it. You're always welcome to ask- generally for anything, since I really don't take offense to any question I can think you could ask for- the worst you'll ever get from me is a polite no, though I'd say more often than not, you're looking at an enthusiastic yes, and I expect you likewise to be equally honest with me. My out of character posting here today is because I figured I'd done well with those kind of women previously finding them by accident, so this time I thought I'd put out some feelers towards people I knew were like that to begin with and try to be friends and see if that worked any better, though I guess I'm kind of still doing this wrong in that I'm still not asking to get down or anything, just saying I'd like to be friends and am open to the possibility of more at a later date if we get along and you'd like to.

Now, for all I've talked about me here, I really haven't addressed any of my basics here have I? I'm a 26 year old male, Caucasian, tall, with short brunet hair, vaxxed to the maxx, and probably best described as having a dad bod; beard is optional, depending on your preference, though generally it probably exists in a state of half growth because I can't be bothered to shave daily, but keep it nice enough to be presentable. Practicality and comfort matter to me, so I mostly rock the t-shirt and sweatpants look these days, and upgrade to polo shirt and dark track pants when I have to look a bit nicer, though I can go all the way up to suits if needed, it's just not my preference, and I don't miss having to wear one of those for work. Personality wise, I'm definitely on the nerd side, though I like to think I'm more social and less awkward than that normally implies, but I absolutely enjoy data and information- I'm an engineer, so sue me- and will definitely talk at length about interests de jour, and I enjoy stories/lore, so various media franchises appeal to me from that standpoint as well, and I'll get into basically anything with a good story, from video games to manga to film to history. I've spent basically all of COVID indoors avoiding people, so my bubble is fairly small, since I only regularly see my family and maybe half a dozen friends, generally try to limit my contact otherwise, and still wear a mask outside of that. I'm over a year single, looking for new friends, hopefully more, but not pushing either way, not really into poly, but open to talking about it if it's something that's important to you, and mildly apologetic for probably pushing into a grey area around not making sexual comments in an intro message, but I felt the above is worth stating up front so you have a better idea of what I'm like so I don't waste either of our time if any of the above is a dealbreaker, or if anything is a concern and you'd like to talk about it, I'm absolutely open to discuss whatever you'd like- again, I'm open about basically anything in my life, so go ahead, let fly with your questions.

I tend to get along better with older women, since I've been functionally making adult decisions since my early teens, so maturity wise I kind of had a head start, and I've always fit in in age categories and life stages above where you'd probably assume I would at my age. One of my previous partners was a woman who is in her 30s, and we got along fine when we were together, so it's really not a concern for me, but I will put my limits from about 21-36, though again, I'm open to discussion if you're a little outside of that and we really click. I will also say I live out the Maple Ridge/Pitt Meadows/PoCo/Coquitlam way, which may or may not be a pro or con for most of you, depending on where you're from, but a couple of my best friends live in Vancouver, so I'm out that way not infrequently, and I pass basically the entire metro Vancouver area along the way, so odds are I drive by your place more than you think and proximity isn't as much of an issue as you might expect.

Now, since you've made it this far, congratulations! You get bonus horny details. I would say when it comes to sexual preferences, if I had to choose one act to commit to doing forever more with no opportunity to do anything else, I'd pick giving oral, even over the choice of receiving any variety of options. I love giving oral, and will happily spend hours playing with labia and nipples while a partner lies back and squirms. I'm probably best with my fingers though, and would say the majority of my most satisfying sexual experiences have been some variation of lying side by side and fingering a partner, either face to face while kissing, or from behind, so I can kiss your neck and play with your breasts on the reacharound, though I would just be amiss if I didn't say that 69 with someone who wanted to jump my bones as much as I wanted to hers was a strong contender for top spot. I am horrendously giving, and find I'm happiest when I can see that a partner is enjoying themselves, and I also really enjoy when I can see that they're the same way towards me, so expect a lot of eye contact and checkins. That doesn't mean I expect reciprocation by any means, but you're basically always welcome to get in on the action if you so desire, and I am a firm believer that if you can't talk and laugh while you're doing stuff, you're doing it wrong, so having fun while having fun is important to me. I'm also a horrendous tease, just FYI, and I will aim to set high scores if you're the kind of lady who can have multiple orgasms back to back (my record is somewhere between 9 and 19, though admittedly I was cheating by using a hottub jet along with my fingers, so really it's more like 2 or 3 without mechanical assistance, and I think about four or four and a half hours is my time record, though that was very relaxed and switching things around a fair bit). On the flip side of innocence, I will absolutely slut for cuddles-both metaphorically or literally, if you so desire- so if you'd like to do some noncommittal, platonic cuddling with no expectation of escalation, I would be thrilled to curl up and chat about your day or grab popcorn and watch a movie sometime and just enjoy some physical contact after years of avoiding other humans.

If this is too much to respond to, don't worry, I don't expect you to go to this extent in a response, so if you like what you read and would like to continue chatting at a time that is more convenient for you, you can simply message me with the word "kiwi" and I'll leave you alone and give you a nudge if I haven't heard from you in about a week or so. If you've made it this far and still really aren't vibin' with this, that's also perfectly fine, everybody has their wants/needs, and I know not all of those line up 100% of the time, so I wish you the best of luck finding what you're looking for and thank you for taking the time to read this through to the end. Either way, I hope you have yourself a good evening and rest of your weekend, and that something in here managed to make you smile, or drip, either or. ;)

TL;DR: 26M, vaxxed, tall, burnet Caucasian with short hair from Maple Ridge/Pitt Meadows/PoCo/Coquitlam area, willing to travel, seeking kind, honest, adventurous woman ~21-36, no kids, no drugs, no god, to build trust with and work towards a friends to lovers type relationship, possibly passing via beneficial territory along the way. All qualifications subject to discussion if passionate about compatibility. Feel free to reach out and say hi. :)