I’ve been straight my whole life and in a 10 year marriage that turned basically sexless after 4 years and recently she cheated and divorced me. But during these last many sexless years, new urges and desires started emerging and these secret fantasies grew stronger and stronger I slowly discovered that I’m a submissive boy who wants to be treated like the girl by I guess a man…

My fantasies have grown into detailed scenarios of an older man who has some position of authority (cop,Bishop,teacher, etc.) taking advantage of me in some way and seducing me and telling me when he’s done with me I’d be begging for it like a slut and then forcing themselves on me but gently and “breaks me in” and more and more and ultimately takes my virginity and takes me like a girl and makes me make for it.

Now that my ex wife has screwed me and left me im trying to build up the courage to see if there’s an older man who wants to fulfill my secret fantasy of submitting my virginity to man.

Advice? Ways to overcome the nerves of only being with women? Anything helpful at all? Lol