Is there a better way to say sorry? Is there a better word than sorry? I can try to put my emotions into a text, but these black words can’t capture how incredibly sorry I am.

You were a huge part of me, a conscious I needed to keep me straight. A mentor to guide me, a cheerleader to keep me going, a lover to know I was worth something.

But, in my ego and pride, I thought I could do this alone, that I could step away from our path and still arrive at the right destination.

How stupid I was, how selfish I am. Now the only way we can talk, is through this. The only way I hope you can hear me, is if you read these words, and the only way you know it’s me, is by a miracle.

I have tried, so hard to reach out to you. So hard to just hold your hand, to say I’d given anything to have you back into my arms. To hold you while I slid my hand through your hair and touched your lips again.

But the only thing I hold now is your ghost, your memories of when we loved and our future was brighter than a full fall moon. I have hope, that you will see this, that you understand it’s me. I’m begging hoping on everything that you know I’m here, I’m trying, I want to take your hand.

Please, reach out to me.