I'm writing this because I it's a way to properly channel how I feel and hopefully that you will come across it. I know we have reached the end of our journey but life's full of great and bad you were a great part of mine and I know you don't resonate us in the same column. All this time apart and no contact has made me see every where I went wrong even things that I would of rather done differently because I pushed you further and further away without even realizing it. I got so caught up in you and wanting us that I lost focus on me and other priorities that are a part of being in a relationship. You gave me your heart and your love and I took it for granted. I know and understand why you did what you did although painful you had to do it because I would of made your healing next to impossible. I didn't love you the right way all the time and you didn't deserve a ups and downs. You deserved the love I gave you when it was right, just all the time. You have my heart and you always will, and I've accepted that and I've accepted that it's our time to depart the train at our stops and continue moving forward. There's something about you that I can only explain as, ur presence magnifies my energy, you make time stand still for me and you make my heart beat twice as fast, but yet can calm me with ur touch or ur words. I can't go 2 hours without something reminding me of you because I Love you. I truly want the best for you and that requires me becoming only a past memory for you. I was cleaning out my mom's garage the other day for her and I came across something you got me our first Christmas together and it broke me right then and there. But I'm learning to smile more than to be sad at these memories. I wanted to love u, I wanted to be the one for you, I wanted to grow old and just look over at your beautiful face everyday the older I got knowing I lucked out spending the rest of my life with someone who instead of loving less over the years I only loved you more and more as time went on and I would have never stopped nor stopped trying because I really won't ever have this for another woman in my life. I'll love again, but it won't be you will it? I wanted to also say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May the new year and the years to come bring you happiness and joy and everything more u could ever want. I love you and I'm gonna end it with that. Ur Gorgeous, funny, smart, and you were my Lover my friend and my girl! I will miss you deeply. The gift I found was the circular serving tray with the map of the world on it. and I'm OK Life's never easy but it sure seemed to be when I was with you. XOXO. -2169