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My last breath; The white flag
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My lungs are empty, no more fight left within me. As my eyes fade to white and my lungs exhale the final breath; I see it. It was i that created what you are today. A beautiful powerful woman. I admire your strength.

I wish I never.

When you were just flesh of an empty and lonely soul, it was I who came to save you. In a way we saved eachother. However I saw the pain within you. A lost and beautiful soul who felt they didn't fit. You'd sit in your car alone with a spliff in hand and a blanket to cover the void.

I pulled you out.

Your pain quickly became mine. When we first met you were so happy. It was me, the one who supported you when no other would. It was me who'd sit with you in those cold nights. I gave you a safe place, a warm bed, a warm heart. The way you'd always blame me. I was selfish? I didn't love or care? Wtf?

I picked up all the pieces, I stayed by your side and helped you grown when no other would. I helped sculpture the woman you are today. I won't ever regret it though, my heart could never allow you to feel such pain. I just wanted to give you the world. Turn your never ending nightsky to a forever sunshine.

Well I did it!

Now I must wave the flag, when the roles reversed you quickly shot me dead. Why? I always had doubt that I was simply a safety. Once you learnt to land on your own to feet the net was not needed anymore. You wonder why I get so angry ? You literally used me. I wasn't perfect I know but guess what, you aren't either! No one us, we are simply shells forever learning.

Why so cold?

Why was it so easy? After all I gave, sacrificed. I accepted you as you were then and as you were now. The perfect image of you slowly starts to fade and Morpeth into something i can no longer picture.

Yet I still you, still would do all those things to makea you happy. I never gave up; why did you? It's in your nature, for someone who preaches being open and facing their problems and not lie, hypercrite. All the battering I took for the things you were so good at. Years of lying, yes i lied but it never lasted. You live with lies I'll never know.

Did they finally catch up to you? Is that why you always run? You can't run forever setting fire all around you. It'll catch up and burn you with it. Those shoulders will become too heavy.

Why ?

I didn't care about not getting you back, I cared about how little effort you made to apology. As if there was no guilt or remorse. Cool.

Who was it that taught you to see the colour in the world around you?

Who taught you to have confidence within yoursel?

Who taught you to take care of your health and skin?

Who taught you to enjoy food again?

Who taught you to be strong again?

Who was it that held you tight without concern of falling?

Who was it soph ?

I don't wish you anything bad, if my downfall had to happen for your uprising then guess what? I'd do it all again!

I DO however hope that one day it hits you, how you got to the place you are. Who helped you stand up again. I also hope you realise how good you had it, you had it all and you know it. Care, love, support and comfort. Who was your shoulder when you cried. Hot water bottlers and hot chocolates? Faught when you couldn't ? Thats right..

One day you'll know, one day you'll regret it.

One day it'll catch up and drag you back through the long fire you kept leaving behind.

Not karma, a life lesson. The same way life taught me the lesson to keep being the kind soul that I am even when it's not seen. I'll only ever change for better!

As the white flag falls, the heart beat stops.

He finally let's go, the flag is gone. The final thread is broken.

Finally, the end.

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3 months ago