J

If you knew how badly it hurts, would you always turn the knife? Slicing open scars that have already been dug through our relationship and the ones even before. Cutting away at my hope until it remains an abysmal dim shadow of whe vibrant being I once was.

Would you still use me? Take my heart and mind and cock until I had nothing left to give, only to reiterate that it is never enough with your behavior and inability to show me truth, love, and commitment. Destroying my reflection in the mirror, looking back at me with sunken eyes and a tear soaked face.

How would you treat me? Would you continue to watch the world burn me at the stake to make you seem angelic, to punish me with the Neverending self-doubt and voices of paranoia that fill your silent treatments, only to be doused with the gasoline of love bombs when my attention seems fun.

Why the abuse? Why the hate, and anger? You have given me the pain you should have given to the other men that hurt you, damaged your perspective, and left you to suffer on your own in embarrassment. You have punished me for their blunders as well as my own. You have also devalued yourself while speaking of your glow, taking my energy like the demonic succubus of lore.

Why do I still love you? Why can't my heart just let you go? And why can't I fucking sleep at night? I am trying my very best.

Nothing looks appetizing anymore. Not even the biscuits and gravy.

Broken and battered, M