I've been homesick for over a month, and I thought coming home would solve it all, but I never realized home doesn't have to be a place, it could be a person.

And it was you, I left you last week n everything feels shattered. I love you and I still do, but you could never fully commit to me. We were always close to a full relationship but you would back out at times.

I forgot how warm n comforting you can be. It's why I called you Sunday while having a panic attack. Yes I need to stop reaching out, but your voice is so soothing. Everything about you feels like a dream like home. Somewhere I can feel at rest.

I always had the best sleep cuddled up next to you regardless of the hours. The way we cuddled might have been suffocating but it felt so nice. The sad thing is as much as you're my home, I could never call you mine. I don't know if there'd be a time when I could.

But going to room late at nite, you always had your arms welcoming me so that I could be engulfed by your cuddles. As much as we fuck, I honestly believed you like sleeping next to me. And so did I. There are days I still wake up looking for you, but I'm alone. I asked... But you can't n I can't force you.

So that home, wherever you are, be at rest. For I always love you, and hopefully one day I can come back. Til then, I miss you.