I asked you over and over, Will you always be this way? Will you really always be so sweet to me? I kept asking because I didn't want to end up exactly where we are now.... You told me yes. I believed you...  I used to be your solace, you wanted to share your thoughts, the good and the bad days, I would be the first person you would vent to. You chose to share yourself with me. Your time and who you are... I told you I keep it 100. This is who I am. Always... I will always put effort toward communicating with you. You told me you loved me first.... You would leave multiple voicemails on my phone just because you wanted to.... You loved talking to me. You enjoyed all of me.

Then the new wore off. Now I get only silence. You dont want to talk or even text... You put as minimal amount of effort towards communication as possible, while I continue. Sometimes... I find myself wondering how long it would take for you to write me if I didn't write you first? Would you?. I dont play games like that though, so i just put my pride aside and text you.... The thing I have come to realize is that I find myself constantly putting myself aside. Yes, I want to talk to you but you had a long day so i push my feelings aside and be understanding. You ask me to explain something so i do and you get annoyed with my excitement or joy or maybe just with the fact that i am talking to you?... I'm not sure to be honest. But again, I push my own hurt feelings aside and try to be supportive and understanding..... I am ignoring My own emotional needs so i can be there for you... I am strong and I can handle it. So I do, but my feelings should, and do matter. I am not hard to please, I am not high maintenance for sure and I only need a little bit of your time and energy.  What really bothers me is that when you have that odd day when you do want my attention, you get the best side of me. I give you 100% of my attention. I am in a good mood and I listen to you. I support you and show interest in your life. I end the conversation without complaint but in between those rare days I get your moods, your irritation, you're "too busy", and "hold ons." You're "not in the mood" and your "i dont want to talk about it...." I want us to work... I enjoy you, I care for you but I keep finding myself wondering why i am putting so much energy towards a person who seems to put me on the back burner and gets to me when they feel like it. Why am I putting effort into someone who doesn't seem to want the effort I am giving? I genuinely try not to let you get to me but after awhile how could I not? I just deserve more than what I am getting. I have worth...

Just so we are clear, I am here for you, I understand that your issues don't have anything to do with me but as your SO, i want to be your partner through all things; and i should at least have enough of your respect for an explanation, or some type of acknowledgement of what is going on. Instead I'm ignored.

You might feel like everything I have brought up is small or little and I am "being extra" or dramatic, as you like to say, and I need to learn to deal but the thing is, this is important to me. It's something I dont know if I could handle and I have enough respect for you, for us, and for what we have to take the time to discuss it with you. I don't know how much longer my patience and understanding will last. I cannot keep pushing myself aside and I don't want to waste energy watering dead flowers, if that's where we are...