Do I scold you? Ask if you're okay? Say I'm okay? Hold my silence?

Or are you looking to burn the bridge so you don't have to look back.

What do i say here?

That I'm trying to be happy. Thinking how: that you'll be happy. Someday you'll find someone else. And maybe like the twinkle of sunlight over water. Like the flicker of a moment of a thought. Like a faint scent of a memory that you'll feel something of me. This moment. That moment. Some moment. And then reality floods in and you're with the man you love on a balcony by the sea. And whatever your thoughts are - are just swept away with a kiss to your neck, his touch, his warmth next to you. Living happily, with your baby goats or whatever.

And maybe. Someday I'll think of you. Tease my girl with my wild stories. Smiling. Happy. That I'm finally home. Somewhere I belong. No more friends to smile at and say watch me dive into the forest - but someone to follow me into the woods I run through.

That I wonder what it may have been if I was a Senator's Son. Or if we waited to see what would become of me as a surgeon. But maybe I have no clue what you desire. Of a career and lifestyle. And sigh. If I could have risen to the challenge. If you have taken a chance on me. See what I could have become. Became. Waited.

But no. Life waits for no one. and unless you really bug me to read this. I don't suppose you'll ever see this.