I cannot say I always did. How brief it was. But from some moment that seed of thought grew in my chest. Molting from lust into affection then into love. And then, as sweet, as sudden and unexpected - you are gone.

I love you. And its strange. You never met my friends. I never got to see you. And some doubt creeps in me that somehow perhaps it wasn't so. And my logic could reason that it wasn't so. And bury it. And I'm sure like leaves onto grass, then snow onto that... rotting into dust and dirt. Maybe someday I won't think of you. And tempted to soar to the dramatic... state great lineages and fates...

But no.

With gentle simplicity.

I loved you.

And you loved me.

I wonder if you'll ever write your post card on your super secret spy mission. 30. 40. 50 years from now. Heh. Future me might hate me. Future you might not do it. Present you might not even considered it.

I never got to dance with you. Touch you. Hold your hand. Look into your eyes. Run my hand through your hair.

But.

I did get to tell you. A few times. I loved you. I love you. I love you. Hah. And that. Classy. "The feelings are mutual". You ever were a tease. And so we danced. And I seem to awake from a dream I cannot forget. Because it was not a dream. It was not a lie. It was not a fantasy.

ANd I loved you.

And. You loved me.