I personally regret my feelings being so difficult to show; so difficult to understand. I really did mean it every time I said I loved you. I really did fall for you. The sad thing is that I can't go back and prove it now. I'm sure it would surprise you to know how often I think about you. I surprise myself. Despite being unable to visualize within my head, your face never stops making its best attempts at appearing. As we get closer to the date we were supposed to meet, I can't help but be burdened by the thought that even if I wanted to reach out, I know there offer would be turned down. Having fallen in love for the 3rd time and lost that love for the 3rd time, I find myself at a loss. I suppose the best I can do is try to move on. But this time feels more like moving deeper into the void than into the direction of something brighter. I'm all over the place, even in these words. I don't have the effort to make sense of my thoughts. Just know that I miss you and wish you the best.