Thank you for telling me how you feel. Thank you for these moments that you let me in deeper into your soul. Thank you for the hours we spend on the phone together. Thank you for accepting my weirdness. Thank you for also being a bit weird yourself. Thank you for the mini concerts you give me. Thank you for being you.

You remind me of who I was before I was broken. You make me feel like I can actually get better. When my demons creep up on me I can hear your voice telling me it’s ok. Thank you. Thank you for the piece of you you’ve given me. I carry it with me and hold it dear.

Thank you for not only wanting me sexually and thank you for telling me so I don’t feel unwanted. Thank you for understanding me. Thank you for bothering to care. You make me happy. So fucking happy and it’s crazy because I thought these feelings weren’t my right to have anymore.

Thank you for reminding me I’m more than just to be used for a man’s pleasure. Thank you for using me as your’s. Thank you for wanting me. For wanting me before, during and after.

You give me strength and you center me. I’ve felt lost for so long. Dirtied by a thick layer of grime that life leaves on us all. You still saw me under all of that. You’ve stayed with me as I clean myself off. Thank you.

My addictions and vices made me feel imprisoned. Sex addiction can be hard to explain and yet somehow you listened and understood. And I’m starting to remember who I really am. I think it’s because you’ve seen glimpses of it and tell me. I’m honestly shocked she’s still there after all these years.

She’s a goddess. She has the strength to match into any battle. She’s the victor of every war. She’s gorgeous. Gorgeous in a depth that reaches her bones. She’s someone you want to listen to. She’s funny and smart. She’s weird and really fucking cool. She’s free spirited. She’s the earth and the cosmos. I feel bad guilt for denouncing her before.

I guess it’s because I let others tarnish her temple. I began to believe that she wasn’t so omnipotent after all. They used her as just a body. Just a shell. And in that shallow understanding I allowed them to sway my beliefs. I beg for her forgiveness now.

I ask for it already knowing she’s never thought ill of me. She is me. And I have the most amazing powers. I’m not just for a man’s pleasure. No. My existence transcends such meek interpretation. I’m a goddess of creation. For I can create men. And I can create art. I can create a universes. Goodness! How could I ever forget such virtue?

Thank you. Thank you for leading me to her. Thank you for hearing her voice when I couldn’t. It feels nice you know? To be one’s true self.

I have so much more to say but I’ll leave that for another night. My time here no longer feels limited by the fears. Those thoughts wishing for my demise now have been replaced by conviction to follow my goddess again. To be me again.

Sorry I’m so extra. And sorry not sorry because I think you like it. Thank you punk.