edit: thank you guys for saying such nice things, i just post these here so i can feel heard... and u guys made me feel like that. i am trying to reply to all of the comments but i don't really know how to use reddit haha.

Dear dumbass,

I was the only child for almost 11 years before mam and daddy had you. I remember when I found the positive pregnancy test on the ironing board in their room. They didn't tell me for the next 3 months they were pregnant with you, I know they did it because they didn't know if they could keep you but it still hurt my feelings that I didn't feel included. There is a lot of things I never tell you. I'll never tell you that daddy lost the job he had for 21 years before you were born. As much as he like likes to pretend he doesn't have a high school diploma or GED as much as he likes to say he does, so finding a job was damn near impossible for him. Mam lost her job the same day. They also found out they were pregnant with you a week before. They also filed for bankruptcy earlier that year and we were slowly losing everything we owned because the lawyer fucked us over and took our money. But I will never tell you all that because no child should ever hear and see that happening from their parents. I remember when they officially told me they were pregnant with you. They were 6months pregnant with you, hadn't paid the rent in 4 months, we had no car, no insurance, and if it wasn't obvious: no money. If their was one thing I hope you picked up by now, is that somehow by the stroke of luck they always manage to pull through. They got insurance, grandpa bought us a used car, and daddy found a job at the place he works at now. On september 9th 2010 mam when into labour at 5am and drove me and daddy to the hospital because I was 10 and daddy passed out. The day you were born was the happiest day of my life. I will never have kids because of you, because kids are assholes and I don't have patience for them. But also because I know if I ever had a kid that I would never have someone as perfect as you. I've never felt loved by or loved someone before you were born, our parents are assholes if you haven't noticed. But the day you were born was the day I felt that. That pure love. I never thought I would die for a person until I held you. You were a perfect baby by any means at all. You were loud as fuck and never laid still in my arms. And your laugh sounded like you had whooping cough. But I didn't care because you were the dopest kid my 10 year old eyes had ever seen. You had your first seizure when you had just turned 1, I had never felt so hopeless in a situation in my entire life. You weren't breathing and your face was blue, I think I passed out from screaming to the paramedics to help you because they weren't (couldn't) do anything. That was the first time I realised I would die for you, that I would do anything for you to make sure you were happy and never hurting again. Until now for the past 8 years you have done nothing but apparently want to test my statement of doing anything for you no matter what it takes. From having a few more seizures, to cracking your head open 20 minutes after we got back from the hospital from a seizure because you tripped over your toys, from just your plain asshole-esque behavior. You're at Nana and Papa's right now. I facetimed you earlier because I missed you to say goodnight. You told me that you would talk to me tomorrow though because you were busy playing fortnite. I will never hate getting mistaken for your parent when I pick you up from school. Or when your crawl into my bed at 2am because you hate sleeping in the dark. Or even when you wake me up at the asscrack of dawn to make you bowls of cereal. If I had to go through all of the pain in the world to make sure you can do all that annoying shit, I'd do it in a heart beat. Being your sister is the greatest thing to ever happen to me, I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. I love you so much butthole breath, see you tomorrow.