I’ve written this letter so many times over the last several years but it hasn’t ever been quite the way I wanted it to be. The first few attempts were pointless because I wasn’t over the feeling of longing to be with you and I missed you greatly. I hadn’t fully learned everything I would from the experience of loving you. Once that period passed, it was still difficult to put all of my thoughts and feelings into words that made sense without giving the impression that I wasn’t over you. The truth is, I moved on a long time ago. I still care for you, and I always will. The memories we share and the lessons I learned will always be a part of me and you helped me become the person today. I’m a better because I fell in love with you all those years ago. I do not and will not regret the way things ultimately worked out.

You were the first guy I fell in love with. I know that with every piece of my heart and soul. People may think that it was just “puppy love” because of how young we were back then or that that I was in love with the idea of you, but they aren’t me and they didn’t and don’t feel what I have. I absolutely adored everything about you. I loved your sense of humor, your intellect: you almost always thought deeply and considered the things you were saying. I loved the way you lit up everything around you. When you stepped into a room, everything and everyone else disappeared. You made others comfortable wherever you were without trying. And God, I’ll admit you were cute. I loved your dark hair, the way your glasses accented your features, and your warm brown eyes. I loved the intensity in them when you were playing guitar and the way they would shine when you were happy and laughing. Your smile was so radiant and beautiful that I’ll never truly be over it. You were tall in comparison to me and had the perfect balance of muscles and slightly soft thickness. You were an amazing hugger. Your arms always made me feel warm, safe, happy, and cared for.

Things have changed since the days years ago when we were in each other’s lives. We are different people now, but the girl that I was that adored you will always be a part of me and my story. You set the standard for who I wanted to be and who I wanted to be with. I will never accept less than what I deserve because of what you gave to me. Your cheesy grin and warm brown eyes will always make my heart flutter, and sometimes the smallest reminders of you make me feel like I’m falling in love all over again. I used to try to suppress those feelings, but I don’t anymore. They don’t mean that I’m weak or that I’m not over you. I can fondly remember the days when we were in each other’s lives without a hint of pain, regret, or desire to change how things are now. Thank you for everything you taught me about life, love, and selflessness. Good luck in your new home on the other side of the country, I know you will find every bit of success and happiness you deserve.