Ms online whatever-this-is-we’re-doing regrets to advise that it appears she has been very much mistaken

My blue dress and dirty feet were no match for you

I tossed my wild lion hair in the air and stalked around. Queen of the jungle

Until you. Virus hidden in a flower

Fuck you for walking on my garden. Even in your light little way

Nothing in the world is as destructive as gentleness and everybody trusts a garden gnome

You. Chubby and red-cheeked in your colorful shirt

Bushy beard

Smile painted on your face

Scared and weird and clumsy

You absorbed all the light I gave out. You had so many dark places. You couldn’t reflect any of it back to me

(It’s ok, you. I’m still lit up. I didn’t need it)

Making me smile so hard my face hurt

Making me wish you still liked me even while I sort-of-hate-you like I’m twelve

We were creepy and clever and we didn’t ask the difficult questions

(That pendulum swung hard enough to knock me out, though)

I woke up a week later to a corpse I can’t bury yet so I just kick it sometimes instead

These ridiculous remnants of laughter I choke back down whenever I think about us (lovely, strange, intense us) will need to stop soon

I hope you read this and understand I’m not hungry for you anymore

And I know who you were supposed to be

I’m sorry I gave you something else instead

Please bury it in your backyard and don’t think about it ever again

Things got as small as they could and then they got enormous

(Alice, this is just never going to stop changing and I thought you were ok with that for the most part)

But Ms online whatever-this-is-we’re-doing regrets that you saw the ten percent

I have another 90

Take the life vest off, please

You were never even on a fucking boat to begin with and besides you can’t drown if you never venture out of the shallows