today was really hard. it felt really heavy today because all i could think about was la fires and what you must be doing right now? are you okay? are you safe? is your family safe? i don't know. thinking about all this comes with thinking about you and about us and it is really hard for me to not do that. really really hard. it crushed me. i thought this year i won't think about you or type about you but look at me just 13 days in. i miss you a lot, i haven't stopped thinking about you and i think it is okay. please don't ask me to move on, your love was a medal of honor that I won't take off so easily. i don't wanna be with anyone. i still catch myself calling you bub all the time in my mind, it is painful. you are the most beautiful woman i have ever seen and i think it will remain like that for the rest of my life. you were the most important and beautiful thing that happened to me and you will live in my heart as long as i live. i hope you don't remember/think about me much. just remember the love (if it was significant to you) and forget the person. you will sort everything out with your job/partner/family and everthing. i will remain eternally proud of you. i am not sure if i have ever loved anything or anyone this much. just know that if you feel burdened, heavy, tired and all the other cruel emotions that life throws at you, feel free to reach out to me and i will come to la or wherever you are just to hold you and i won't want anything in return i promise. i know you are very very strong. good luck i am proud of you very very proud. i will delete this account on july 29th of this year, exactly one year and a day later than we broke up. no more posts! gooooodbye :))