Wishingball, B

You know, the truth is I never really wanted you to leave in the first place. I very much wanted to stay. I was just so conflicted given the circumstances between us and your situation.

I was very excited when we reconnected, and I wanted to pick up right where we left off immediately. Back then, you showed me a person who was essentially my ideal person, and that was not something I was eager to lose. I wanted to keep going, I wanted to push things further, continuously, indefinitely.

We absolutely had a very special moment that will be ingrained into my memory for the rest of my life. Why couldn't we just keep doing that? That person, at that time, was exactly whom I was looking for, and I very badly wanted and needed.

So why were things so different the 2nd time around? What changed? What happened? That left me frustrated because it felt like I was speaking to an entirely different person.

We have two very different love languages and communication styles. Mine is physical touch, quality time. Yours seems to be words of affirmation. While I wanted to be with you, be around you, hold you, cuddle, etc... you wanted to talk about feelings

I didn't want what you wanted, and you didn't want what I wanted. I can't express my feelings through words alone, I show my feelings through actions, physical touch, and quality time.

I meant every word I said when I told you that I would have coffee ready, I would make you dinner, take you out for dinner, help you practice highway driving, platonically hang out while developing into our own.

You never gave me the chance.

So, I'm left continuously frustrated. I wish I could go back to that night hoping to experience that all over again.

On the off chance that you're reading this, you can reach out. Let's repeat that night and show each other what we mean to each other.

That will never happen.

Because maybe you just used me for one night, for your me time

Oh well

I'll live.

E