Today I woke up, almost hungover from the heaviness I felt yesterday.

I feel stupid, naive and isolated.

I have friends. I promise I do. Not many. But they exist, and are real. Just none of them live anywhere near me. So I spend so much of my time alone, with my own thoughts and feelings. While I'm used to it, I'm getting squirrelly. I know it.

I'm a grown ass woman. I should have more, better, and irl relationships. Not focusing on people who are thousands of kilometers away. Not people who only exist in the words on my screen. But it seems like those are the only fleeting contacts I have.

I scroll here looking for something. What? I don't know. Maybe some unrequited love, maybe to feel like I meant something to someone. To maybe not feel so lost and alone.

Today I wish I could see what I add to peoples lives, what my value is to others. To feel like I'm more than just a fleeting moment in time, like the leaves falling from a tree.

-D