I hate that I think about you.

I hate that you are still on my mind and that even now I wish you were around. I hate that I think of you and want to cry. I hate thinking about you because I think about what could’ve been. I think about what it could’ve been like to be held by you. I think about what a night in would be like and what a night out would feel like. You told me you would never go, that you would stay because everything was okay. Until it wasn’t okay. Until you started to feel something for me and then you ran away. Why not talk to me? Did you think me so weak? Did you think I’d beg you not to leave? I would have asked you to reconsider but I wouldn’t have begged. I would have let you go gracefully and eventually moved on. But here I am writing it into the nothing because I still can’t let it go. I hate thinking about you, I hate it because I still want you