So many things were left unsaid. I wish I knew at the beginning what I know now.

Heather

You started out lying to me and I don't get it. Some of my questions were answered falsely. Especially when I get a phone call to rush home from work because you hid your past from me when asked. I forgave you and still kept our relationship going. I supported you when no one else would. Hell I didn't even flip out when you wrecked my suv. One thing I never spoke of was the friends you introduced me to said I should leave you that you weren't worth my time. I stayed and kept going because I loved you.

I know I made mistakes along the way. I've got no excuses or explanations for how I acted or what I done. All I can offer is an apology and it's up to you to forgive me. I have forgiven you and myself for the mistakes made. I won't dwell in all the mistakes you or I made. Calling the mistakes out doesn't help at all.

There has been many good times we had together and some bad. I feel like a fool or your puppet for letting you back in my life after what you shown me. What I don't understand was how you made me feel like I couldn't be loved. Like you only wanted me around for your convenience and the money I made. I truly feel as if you never loved me. Maybe you were using the words I love you as a tool for you to keep me around. Maybe you did love me and I was to blind to see. When I said I love you I meant every word. I'm sure you'll never believe that but it is true and I still love you.

That is something I have to let go of because you've broke me in ways I never could have imagined. I went through a long depression and stayed clear of everyone I love and care for. I have fought my way out of that depression and was told write letters and it doesn't matter if you see them.

I know you said I was hard to talk to and let me know how you feel. To me that comes off as if you never felt anything for me. Yet again I can be wrong. Me expressing my feelings has never been something I'm great at. When you always took my feelings as a personal attack it made me shutdown. That is another thing I can day I was wrong for.

You've been on my mind heavy lately and it is starting to take a toll on me. I don't hold any hate or anger towards you. I have learned to let all them things go and not let it over take me. I have go e through an emotional Rollercoaster with all my feelings. There has been so many ups and so many downs. I have learned a lot of different lessons and I'm thankful for them.

I have finally reached a point where I can move on after a year and a half. I need to get this out so I don't let it affect me in any way. I wished for you to reach out for so long that all I was doing was hurting myself. I'm not the same person you knew and I'm sure you aren't either.

I wish nothing but the best for you and your future. I don't regret loving you and still having that love for you. I've had some people try to tell me about you and I tell them to just keep it to their self. I won't stand for someone to talk Ill of you. What happened was for a reason and it has made me grow as I hope it did for you.

You will always haunt me as you were the person I loved more than life itself.