I’ll never say I love you again, and in many ways it breaks my heart. But then again, you never said “I love you to.” You actually said the opposite, not “I hate you,” rather “I can’t love you.”

Truth be told, it should have never gotten to that point. Knowing now, what I was so blind to then, I should have walked away. I know I knew, after all, that’s what I do, make excuses for people.

I wonder if you miss me, if I’m a void in your life? I wonder do you still think of me. But, as I told you when we broke up, I was foolish. After all how can you miss someone you never loved.

I’ve driven by your house a time or two, just to see if you’re out late on a Saturday night, only to see your truck absent from the drive. Not something I’m proud of by any means. But like the fool I’ve always been, I tell myself you’re out with friends and not with him.

Yes, I knew about him. I knew that I wasn’t the only one. The calls you took in the bathroom, in the car. The “hey! I need to take this,” the Snapchat notifications, I knew it all. Like a fool, I turned a blind eye. I’ll never know who he is, like a ghost he haunted our every interaction. Every date for 14 months, he was there, “your friend.”

Now you seem like a dream. I actually have to remember you were real. But the pain reminds me how real you were.

I’ll never see you again…but the last thing I will tell you is, “I love you.”