But, I fell in love with you. I stared into your baby blue eyes and got lost in the romance. I believed every word you told me. I hung on to your last breath. I couldn't wait to see you and smell your skin. I was obsessed and determined to make it work. I wasn't perfect, but we were a fraud.

You sold me on that you were college educated, you barely passed high school. You sold me on that your fiance died. He never existed. You sold me on that your family came from money, but "some bad things" happened. I didn't mind you were on snap. I didn't mind you were surving on disability. I knew I could make that better.

I hurt when you told me you had to prove income buy turning in cans to a junk yard. I didn't like you couldn't go out with your friends. I wanted a better life for you.

Now, there's no more coach purses. There's no more biweekly nail appointments. There's no more security.

Your $1k behind on your car payments. You're wanted by the police, and you still insist I'm the bad guy. I never asked you to work. But, why the arguments after a 13 hour day when I'd be dozing off on the couch.

Why the arguments when I'd come home exhausted after a one hour and thirty minute drive. Why the arguments when I had bad days? I could never be down. My mental heath issues could never be a problem, but yours took front row center. Your mental heath issues were supposed to excuse you with having sex with another man. "I was hyper sexual". Yeah, I get that's a thing. Then go get help. You refused. The same way you refused to go get a driver's license for 5 years while you drove around our car.

I did fucking love you. I wasn't the best. I lacked around the house, I'll admit that. But, you demanded perfection and brought inadequacy to the table.

I can't tell anyone anything about you because I do not know if I'm lying. Your daughter has to correct everything I know about you. The more I find out about you, the more I know the less of you.

Sub; thank you for the rant.