Well, I'm early actually. You were born on August 9th at about 2:37 in the morning, and came into the world weighing 6 lbs 7 ozs. A wonderful little baby girl, an absolute gift to this world in every way.

I won't be able to see you tomorrow, nor on your birthday party Saturday. No one is stopping me from seeing you or being there except myself. You did nothing wrong to deserve this, the fault lies solely with me alone.

Im not angry with you, and I never was. It's not your fault, nor is it anyone else's fault besides my own.

I could and would spend the rest of my life searching the world for the one thing to fix all of this and for us to be together every day again. Unfortunately such a thing does not exist in any tangible, realistic form.

I haven't seen you in two months. Im sorry you couldn't find me, I heard you were looking for me for a while before you stopped. Im sorry I wasn't there, I very much wanted to be.

I hope to have something more for you next year than a letter you will never read. I miss you and think of you all of the time, and I am so sorry for who your father is.