Nothing says broken person more than being able to just turn emotions off. And I did. I turned them off. You finished breaking my heart, and you knew that you did. But it’s your truth.

Here’s my truth: you made me feel like I didn’t have to hide my past. That I didn’t have to be ashamed of the things that have been done to me. You made me feel calm that I haven’t felt in probably ever. I didn’t want to sleep all day every day because you were around. You were enjoying my company. Or so I thought.

Now that you’re gone, even though we’re “talking” (which cmon. We both know you don’t want to anymore. You’re so short with me it’s unreal.), I feel…. Numb again. I get drunk for the first time in years last night and it felt good. My brain shut up. My body let me sleep in peace.

I’ve learned that I’m better off alone. I’m better off keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself.