I was out of karaoke on Saturday and I was already low-key missing you. I've been doing good for a while not feeling the heartache and just living, but something on Saturday brought you into my mind and kind of crushed my heart. So I went out to take my mind off of you, but unbeknownst to me one of my best friends that I haven't seen since before we broke up came out to see me. I cried so much telling him about us. He's saying a song I've never heard him sing before and he told me it was for me. And as I sat there listening to the lyrics I just sobbed wishing that I could just hate you. If I could hate you this wouldn't hurt so much, I wouldn't miss you so much, I wouldn't want you back, it wouldn't have this keeping hole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be... I wish you had given me a reason to hate you.

The song is Hate Me by Blue October. The last few lines of the chorus is what got me. I can hear you saying those words to me even though you never have. "Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you. Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow. Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you."

I love you, 🤠. Forever.