We almost had a break through. I felt hopeful. Thought maybe we could get it right. That my time spent away was well taken. And maybe just maybe we could restart and get back to our smiles.

Nope.

You’re over there chillin with the person you like to smile with. Idk why you pretend like you want me and talk to me like I’m something special just to flip switch and turns out you’re doing everything you specifically said you weren’t and then it’s fuck me and I’m a horrible bitch blah blah blah. Well I don’t care any more. I’m done. I’m over it. Go spend good times with her cuz my numbness came back. I almost let it fade to the past and invested my heart back into us and almost wanted to show you just how much you meant to me.

Now I’m back to thinking about the times you hurt me beyond recognition. How you made me stop loving you. Guess once love is lost you really never can get it back. Idk why you play this game like you love me and take it away. Why say I’m your everything and invite me over when you’re sitting there already chillin with another girl? I’ve been knowing other girls have been there I found their clothes. Well guess what they don’t have near what I have to offer. I’ve just been offering it to the wrong person. You don’t deserve the strong woman I am. You deserve the little girls who don’t know how to open a bank account or do taxes or get a car out of impound. You have nothing in common with these girls except sec and that’s all you’ll get in life. Sex. No connection. No love. No deeper feeling. You don’t deserve them. You deserve superficial body contact.

I really am done. I’m hurt emotionally and physically from all that my body is going through. Not like it matters to you though right? You’re blocked on everything. I don’t plan on unblocking you any time soon. They say the only way to truly get over someone is to release all hope you’ll ever be together. No if I had…or if I do this…no. No hope. And I’m there. There’s not a single thing in this world that could make us be together happily. I know it and I breathe it. Nothing. Not a single thing. And I won’t sit here and wonder what ifs cuz they weren’t. So they won’t be. I lost all hope. You’ll see how serious I am.

Hurt? Yeah sucks. Really bad and it’ll take me awhile to get over it. But there’s absolutely nothing that could or can change the fact you’ll never love me again and I will never love you again.

So here we go back to our separate lives where each others choices don’t affect the other. Just like you wanted. You fought to get us here. Here we are. Embrace it.

I’ll never allow myself to long for you again. I’ll deliberately work towards being good with you out of my life forever.