You have an affair to go with every year we were together. Your promises wrapped around my pinky and then turned to wisps of smoke. Easy to see impossible to hold. If I was your best friend how could you treat me this way? How could you break me to shatters over and over and OVER?

I just want to scream. And cry. I want to hate you so badly but fuck those trauma bonds are tied tight.

Why wasn't I enough to make you happy? Why wasn't everything worth anything to you. You moved on before you moved out. And left me in the skeleton of our house. I'm a ghost. Haunted by a decade of memories.

You're so tangible to her. Why couldn't you do that for me?

You held me against the wall and screamed "why do you make me want to hurt you?"

Why did you make me want to die?