To M.,

You've been disappeared longer than you were in my life.

For two months I never felt so much stress over figuring out how the two of us might work when you got back. For two months I was also on cloud 9. I never felt so seen or loved before.

The plan wasn't to fall for you. You made it too easy. I feel so stupid. I listened to the playlist you made me daily, like a heartsick teenager. Songs are etched in my brain. Lullaby was my lullaby when we couldn't speak and I couldn't sleep.

You told me you loved me. You said in your 33 years of life you never met anyone like me and I was it. You wanted me and you said you'd fight for me and wouldn't give up.

You gave up. Two months and you just abandoned us without any word or communication. I think of you less everyday, but you made an impact on me and I'll always wonder what could have been.

Its the podcast I'm most upset about. You challenged me to finish it by our first meeting. Every time I run I still listen and it sucks that I can't talk about it with you. I'll be finishing it by June, just like I promised for you.

You made a hole in my heart. Part of me hopes that you'll still reach out and come see me in June like you promised. Wishful thinking I know.

-Your Lil Anomoly