I am sorry. I watched hitch and the 40 y/o virgin and a half a dozen other sappy movies. And I still don't know that love isn't like it's supposed to be in the movies. I pushed you away to the point I am pretty sure you weren't going to want to talk to me ever again. I'm pretty sure you still won't.

I am a foolish man. But I mean that wasn't ever a secret. I have a lot of stuff and some of it ill always be working on. As I'm sure you will too. I guess the point of the message is just to tell you that , there isn't a moment I can recall not thinking about you atleast once a day. I try, try not to. But it always happens. Sometimes more often than once.

I am sorry my defense is to push people away , it definitely explains why I am such a solitary man. I know you probably won't, but I want you to know my number will always be the same if you change your mind, and haven't totally given up on me, on us. I know I haven't, and I'm not sure I ever will.
I do hope you find happiness with or without me though, whatever you want in life, you are one of the people I can think of you truly deserve all of the things under the sun moon an stars.

I know I shouldn't say it , but I love you redacted I know I don't have that right anymore but even if I can't be that kind of love, I always will. I will always wonder when I lookup at the stars, and I will always hope you are solid. Whatever you do, you always did do it well.

So this is my final message, no really, not unless it would be so to hear from you again and no sooner until then. No matter what I feel or want or ..... I will refrain , I will endure, I will grow , and I shall conquer, as I hope you do too. There is so got damn much beauty in this world, and you bring a damn bunch of it to the table. As do I , when I let my sun shine, I know.

Alas, you know how to find me if you ever want to. I am sorry I tried and most likely succeeded in shutting the door, and even cutting the phone line. I would never actually tell you good bye if I didn't think I had to though.

Peace K.

Ps I was gonna attach one of the photos I couldn't bring myself to delete. And no I didn't burn the letters yet. I came close yesterday, Another story.

But no, I thought the picture wouldn't be fair, not that me still messaging you is. What can I say. I'm trying not to beat myself down. It's all part of my terrible grieving process.

Be good out there :) I'm doing my best and I'm ok for what it's worth to you .xo.

It was last one I sent you and I read it all the time. As I only wish I had said more and maybe if I break my word again, my world would have you in it tomorrow. I still wonder if I'll ever hear from you again, but I also think I deserve more, I guess only tomorrow holds the answers because tonight does not.

Cheers.

1 through 6 - Collective Efforts. Taker easy out there :)