I think I'm finally done with this sub. I'm thankful. Not sure if it was exactly healthy but Unsent was the only outlet I had for a long time.

I'm still pretty messed up. I'm so far from happiness that I honestly don't know the way back. I'm still in love with you and probably always will be. That's just the way I am, but finally my emotions for you have long since settled.

I may love you, but I don't like you. You weren't very nice to me and that's putting it kindly. It's kind of weird to feel so deeply about someone and want nothing to do with them. Sad part, even though I deserved better, I would have been just fine if you had made an effort to work with me to figure things out.

The emotion the wheel finally stopped on was anger. That anger has dulled over time, but it seems to be the default. You used me, you were always angry for no reason, you cheated on me and in the end you convinced me our relationship was worth fighting for and left 3 days later. You never granted me any worthy conversation after that, and hurt me everytime I tried. I wasn't perfect, but I was good to you. I acted shamefully after you turned your back but it was expected. I say that because you did expect it and planned accordingly. You always were pretty smart.

I'm done thinking of you. Your not welcome in my thoughts anymore. Things were fucked, but thats how it happened and thats the way it is. I'm finally over it. I can finally allow myself not to like you but not hate you.

I don't wish you anything bad. Last I heard your life was going great, and I'm happy for you. I hope it only gets better. I deserved better from you, but you deserved better from life. You deserve to be happy. Just try not to break anyone else in its pursuit.

You were the love of my life. I still, and probably always will miss you, in some weird contradicting way. I say contradicting because as much as I miss you, I honest to God hope we never meet again.

Stay beautiful Nicole,

Kyle