Hey, I hope you’re alright. I’ve been struggling, I’m so confused and lost. I feel like a part of me has died. What’s going on? Am I unwanted? I’ve been waiting for you to come back like you said you would, but I’m starting to lose hope. I thought you said you wanted me in your life no matter what? You told me when we first met that you would never ghost me like this, when I first opened up to my abandonment trauma you told me “No, I would never abandon you” Was that all just a lie? You said you don’t want to hurt me, but that’s not a good excuse because if you didn’t want to hurt me you wouldn’t leave like this. You always told me to be direct with you, so why aren’t you direct with me? Why are you acting like I don’t exist. Just because you’re avoidant doesn’t give you an excuse to do this, I’m a real person with real feelings and I still exist after you blocked me.

I feel so unwanted, nobody wants me around not even you. I mean the last thing you said to me was that I’m not a lost cause and then you throw me away like I’m a lost cause. You even told me that if I did this to you, you would be sad. You know how much pain being abandoned causes, so why is it ok to do it to me? Forget dating for now, I truly do believe we are both soulmates. We both just aren’t ready yet, maybe that time will come down the line who knows. But that doesn’t mean we have to leave each other’s lives, I want to be friends. It’s not impossible either. Remember when I was the one who wasn’t ready? Even then you still wanted me in your life.

Please if you really do care about me that much I just need an answer from you, I need closure. You’re very important to me, I’ve lost a lot of very important people in my life recently and I don’t want to lose you too. I want you, I want you in my life, even if we are just friends. No matter how much potential hurt that being together causes equals the hurt from not being able to have you in my life. But that’s not up to me, I need to know what you want. We both promised to be each others diaries, so tell me the truth of how you feel about me. Trust me I can handle it, the only thing I can’t handle is you blocking me again or ignoring me. Do you want me in your life? Yes or no?