The other day, after 4 years, I couldn't help but take a look. When we left each other, I was deep in addiction, and I prayed to God that it gives you everything you want. I saw it when I looked at what you've become. The marriage to a rich, educated man in the same industry as your father. The upside down teardrop ring, as big as a knuckle and I'm sure shining like your kindness. Last, I felt the sting, a baby boy with a 7 letter name, the same as the tattoo on my chest.

When you left, you told me you would never love another the way you loved me. I'm glad you will never have to. All of the dreams we had together, they haunted me for years, until I saw that dimpled smile in your wedding dress. As much as it broke me, it also helps me move on to know that you have gotten what we always dreamed.

The cancer has ripped my body up, and my addiction didn't go away. The raves we used to go to become my life, and the next woman...she broke me. I wanted so badly for her to be you, but nobody ever is or ever will be. That is ok, because idk if I ever want to hurt that bad again. Every love I've ever known has come to an end. What burns twice as bright burns half as long I guess.

I'm proud of you. If I could go back, I never would have dated you, even though it was the best part of my life. I am poor, and I could never meet the expectations to be your husband. Everyone in our small town...they weren't kind. I'm glad you moved back to Denver, to the big city.

I'm glad you got the love that you deserve. If I make it through this, I will travel and see the places we were supposed to go. Jasmine and Aladdin...I'll see the world. I promise...that wherever I go, I will think of what you taught me and hold it close to my heart. I wish we were still friends.

Have courage and be kind always my love M