i highly doubt youll see this. so fuck it. i miss you. yes i have always loved u. I STILL do. you may not think it… but i do ny. you are my everything. My baby especially. my baby. you inspired me to change. and i was not a good person. nor ina good place. the memories tht we have i absolutely cherish. i miss going to practice with you. im sorry i was so shy… i just never saw somone so beautiful.. and i did try to talk yknow, but words wouldn’t come out. i really love those little moments where we would just stare into each others eyes… :). those eyes always had me mesmerized… and eye contact is kinda hard for me. i wish u were here. i love you. i wish i could text you and tell you about the things i do and my day and ask you bout stuff and just talk with u. i wanna buy u stupid gifts tht you dont need or will ever use. i wanna hold you and comfort you and i promise ill never let u go. i cherish you ny.

if u were to text me ny, i would respond. id be happy to hear from you again… you hurt me. you owe me. i love you. but do u deserve me?

i say u dont deserve me.. cause i felt used. it was onesided… i feel like i gave so much.. and you just took it. i tried so hard and for fucking what? i didnt recieve shit. you dont understand how much i was willing to give, wht i was willing to do just for you. because i love you. but i couldnt stay away from you.. i love you so much how could i. i wanted to love you enough for the both of us… but thts not good is it. So nylah… i guess im gone. i left a long while ago… but i love u. you just taught me how to love myself more. To be perfectly honest, if ud reach out today, i dont know if id talk to u. i think i would. just to see… i can just leave if its still the same.. Im notta saint either tho. these are very conflicting emotions to feel… like opposites. complete opposites.

i love you. but fuck you for hurting me, when all i wanted was to give you the world. and i would have. if u ever reach out again, start with an apology. its not enough but ittl be a start. and with all tht stalking ur doing, u might as well just fucking reach out to me. but i love u baby.. i think im stupid for it. but i cant help it.