I've never been the one for pretty lies. Less beauty found in ugly truths, but what beauty you do find tends to have more depth and meaning. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am now. Almost two years.

Since you left me I've been slowly separating all these ugly emotions from your memory. Letting go of all that pain and anger was a slow process. It wasn't easy but I did it. One after another I cleansed the thought of you like cleaning tarnish from silver.

Now Im finding all these beautiful memories I had buried. Years and years worth cuddles and smiles and even tears. I actually smile when I think of you. I'm actually smiling as I write this.

I'm not creating some fake version of you. I do remember the times you hurt me. I know you abondoned me. I know you've long since moved on with your life. I know if you had a chance to see me again you would take a strong pass. So there's still pain and anger, but they don't have a hold over the thought of you anymore

You were never the kind or forgiving type. That's okay. I think deep down you still have some love for me. I just don't imagine it's worth much now days. I know I'm right where you want me, in your past.

I do know for a time you were madly in love with me. I was your world and you were mine. I have so many mental pictures of your eyes shining as a smile shapes your lips. I had forgotten about so many of these memories. So many mornings in bed. So many sunsets. So much love.

I've only recently been able to separate the pain from you. Accepting all the bad things that happened and letting it go. I don't have all the answers I wanted but finally I don't need them. I don't need anything from you. You've already given me all I need to be happy. It just wasn't gift wrapped and some assembly was required.

Like I said you weren't always nice to me but I have to thank you for sharing so many beautiful moments with me. My life is pretty messed up right now. Has been a downward spiral since you left, but now I have the power to smile thru the bad. I have memories that give me the strength to be happy. For the first time in a long time my heart feels healthy.

I have you to thank for that. Honestly, thank you Nicole. I will always love you, and cherish these valuable keesakes. I hope you've found peace. I hope your life is full of joy.