2873.

2873 days after i met you, I came to terms with the truth. I realised that I no longer want to fight for us.

This is not because I do not love you. Believe me when I say I do.

But being with you is exhausting. Its draining and it is killing me slowly.

I love you so much, watching you ignore, question, nag and confuse me makes my chest constrict. I feel my chest muscles spasm. I hold a hand to my chest and I know that this, this charade, this relationship, this commitment, this engagement needs to end before it takes my life

It was hard at first I'll admit, not hearing your voice or seeing that smile or watching your face scrunch together in a frown. It really was hard but I think I'm adjusting and I've made progress.

A progress I know can be undone by a minute in your arms which is why I hope to God that you stay away and let me heal.

I hope that the thousands of miles I've put between us is enough to help you get the message I'm passing across.

I know you think it's just "one of those times" and I'll "come back to my senses" but I don't know how to explain this to you.

It's over. I know it's over. I'm giving it up... Everything in me has let go of you. I do not want to fight for us anymore.

And I do mean it when I say....

We will never have "Asher".