You left the day shift for 4 weeks, having switched to nights for more money and a vacation too. I'm not certain if this is the end, but its been no contact for three weeks now. The first felt like real grief. The next week felt like strategizing (pairing your name w/ OCPD in my mind) Consciously convincing myself that I dodged a bullet for not going for you because you have a personality disorder that would make me insane. The third week, these past few days, I"m bargaining. Just feeling like having you in my life is better than not.
I actually really do just want to be friends now, I don't want to be lovers or even flirts. I have fake boobs, you would never be ok with that. Oh, and I'm turned off by your perfectionism, it makes me lose my mojo. I do someitmes get to enjoy sex, but I don't know if I would with you bc of the way you communicate your need for perfectioinism. So now that I've spelled that out, I just want to be friends. Le sigh. Then I remember that you are so controlling and OCPD disallows you the free time to be leisurely w/ a friend. Oh, and we are former flirts, and both married, and our spouses wouldn't even approve of a friendship, right? Meanwhile, I can't bring myself to watch a movie. And I think about you everyday. And I'm quitting soon. The likelihood of our friendship continuing is small. Lots of reasons for it to end. You are a terrible friend. You don't reply. You avoid.
Worse, you insult, you compete, you are easily offended. You don't even know half of my story. You don't ask bc you don't care. You taught me about masculine taste, and the broadness of a man, so thank you. You are cruel. You are generous. You are trusting. You are unavailable. I am in love with you. I know this letter is all over the place, it’s how I feel.