I never wanted things to end like this; the resentment, the frustration, the pain. You truly were a bright beautiful flower who emerged in my life after dreary years of fog and rain. Learning your story and hearing about your past, made me want to protect you and shield you from everything life can throw at us. I forgot all of my traumas,my pain and my hurt and only wanted to save you from yours. I stopped working on myself, stopped setting and maintaining firm boundaries, and stopped being the man I want to be instead of the man I was. I’ve said and done some hurtful things since we broke up. Things that once said, just can’t be unsaid. I was and am still deeply wounded both from the end of our relationship and from my childhood. I can’t separate them. Lord knows I am trying. I’ve made some progress with my therapist. I’ve felt my brothers love for e after grieving his death deeply. It was such a beautiful feeling, so pure and overwhelming. I hope that you can feel that love someday. I hope you can grow and thrive and buy that home you’ve always wanted. I hope your ok M.