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Hey, so during the winter break, I was feeling amazing. I (thought) had the motivation to finally get my shit together this term and learn from my mistakes last term and do better. I wanted to start working out, eating better, and studying. This was because I was in a nice, heathy environment. Now that I'm back, I feel like shit. I'm eating horribly, feeling really anxious and just don't want this to be my life. I have no motivation to do anything and I'm super scared for this term because my courses are harder. I don't know what to do. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for over a decade and I still haven't found a good way to cope with it. Last term was an absolute mess due to this. Although I went to class, I would not study very well and would only do school work for assignments or I would study a few days (sometimes a few hours) before a test and it was reflected in my marks. I know this is really bad for me but I don't know what to do. I just feel so lost. It feels like I have no control over my mind and that being at school just makes my mood worse. I know if I was back at home I would feel 100x better. I don't want this to be my life. I don't want to spend the next 3 months dreading each morning. I'm on medication and I am seeing a counsellor and it is helping somewhat, but I feel like what I need is a different perspective on school. I need to learn how to not associate school with feelings of anxiety, anger, sadness, failure, etc. Maybe this is the wrong place to post this kind of thing but I thought I'd try anyway.
Tl;dr: After the winter break, where my mental health was improving, being back at school "undoes" all of that. It makes me feel scared, anxious, depressed, and makes me want to overeat again. How can I change my perspective on school?
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