Friend’s ex is the worst. Here’s her story:

1. He stole her Pokémon cards (including a rare Charizard!) to fund his drug habit.

2. Hollowed out her Vivance so she’d take empty capsules and feel like she was losing her mind.

3. Cheated on her while demanding they stay monogamous—even though she offered poly.

4. Is on Grindr, hooking up with guys but denies it.

5. Gave her HPV, likely doesn’t know he has it, and is probably still spreading it around.

After all that, he ghosted her and kept the stuff he stole. She wants payback, but we need something funny, harmless (to us), and totally karma-inducing.

I suggested a fake Grindr account with his photo, warning others he’s spreading HPV, but I’m open to better ideas.

Any genius-level petty payback tips that’ll leave us laughing for years?