TL;DR: My mom has absolutely fucked over my dad in their divorce, and ruined his relationships with my sisters- how do I make sure she doesn’t take anything else from him?

My parents have been in the process of divorce for about a year.

My mom started alienating my dad from my sisters several years ago, saying he was dangerous and that he is a misogynist. He is absolutely no misogynist he is an advocate for women. And he helped and pushed my sisters in everything they wanted to do.

Anyway, when she decided they were separating, she made him move to the basement.

During this time my dad became suuuper paranoid and manic. I remember when i visited home he would kinda snap in and out of detective mode whenever my mom was brought up.

This behavior led my sisters to really lean in to what my mom had been preaching to them. I believed it all too. Until my mom accused me of spying on her and recording our conversations - which she tried to get me to do to my dad.

So she’s delusional or just lying about everything idk. Make no mistake my dad isn’t perfect, and I think my mom was right to divorce him for plenty of legit (but small) things wrong with their marriage. But he’s not dangerous and he sure as fuck isn’t a misogynist.

She also spreads all this shit to friends and extended family like wildfire.

My dad was so desperate to save the marriage and also to mend his relationship with my sisters. My mom knew this and made it seem like they would fix their relationship and it would fix his with my sisters, if he would sign an agreement giving home all the $300k of debt, and that he’d pay for her attorney fees.

I know I know, my dad is not stupid, he was just desperate and vulnerable.

Anyway fast forward, I’ve been playing mediator cuz I want this to be over for both of them.

She has been telling me for a long time that she doesn’t wanna fight and that my dad is making it impossible to move forward. As soon as I start playing mediator and start digging into their emails and texts, it becomes clear that he has been trying to cooperate the entire time.

To try and open her up to being decent about the whole thing, I had my dad lend her $2k when she needed it, until she got some equity payout (she got it the next day after he sent her $2k) and I also convinced him to lend her his truck and the paddle boards on her birthday cuz she loved paddle boarding and she didn’t have other plans for her birthday.

That was in June. She has held the truck hostage until she sold it today, far under value.

Because she stole his truck, he bought his mom’s (my gma) old navigator and spent a lot of money getting it running and legal.

I’m pretty angry with her because she lied to me too. And turned my advice to my dad into a terrible thorn in his side.

Anyway she stole my dad’s truck, his money, and ruined his relationship with my sisters. She has already racked up over $25k of attorney fees (pretty sure she has been getting ripped off) and she just hired a bigger, even more expensive laser. And my dad signed a paper saying he’d pay all of that.

And my dad is struggling financially during all of this. My mom’s parents are pretty filthy rich and bought her a new house, and pay for a lot of stuff. My dad doesn’t have that. He’s already borrowed all that he could from family.

My dad is a divorce and litigation attorney with his own practice and he has always struggled. My mom and him both are completely fiscally irresponsible/uneducated? so I’m sure that’s part of it.

For example, while my mom was stressed for money and didn’t want to ask her parents for more, her fridge was full of pre sous vide chicken! Like what? Budget? She also said she wanted to sell her Lexus and get the same one a year newer cuz hers doesn’t have apple carplay LMFAO

My parents always had cars they absolutely could not afford, and when my sisters finished high school they paid for them to do dance schools for like $40k each which they also could absolutely not afford. But props to making that work somehow for my sisters.

My dad has a ton of clients that have never paid him. He’s owed at least 200k. I’ve helped him collect some old debts but only like $20k. Not a great business owner either I guess. But he is definitely making good changes to his practice. Getting on his feet. Doing everything right, but it’s a slow process. Don’t get me wrong we were never poor. But that’s because my dad took on lots of debt.

My mom is shooting for the moon for alimony but my mom made maybe just as much or more the year or two before the divorce. My mom is a realtor, not thriving, but neither is my dad.

My dad has nothing. Nothing! But since he’s playing his own attorney (I have begged him not to but he can’t afford one. He can barely afford rent) I fear my mom will have an extremely favorable outcome. He almost had a default ruling on the whole thing.

My dad has definitely made lots of bad decisions, but he never meant anything but good.

My mom has been malicious towards my dad, and taken the one thing that money can’t buy. His relationship with my sisters.

I love my mom, but I don’t think she deserves jack shit.

What can I do to protect my dad? What can he do to make sure she doesn’t get a fucking dime?