A is for Affair, as we're having one you see, B is for Boobs, pressed against her and me.

C is for Cuddles, plentiful by supply, D is for Dick, as it enters, and her sigh.

E is for Electric and the chemistry we seek, F is for Fucking, though, not on the first meet.

G is for Good times, discretion is assured, H is for Hedonism, a pleasure exploration pure.

I is for Introvert, they're not ideal for chats, J is for Jester, just one of our many hats.

K is for Kissing, we love a passionate snog, L is for Long-term, are you in it for the slog?

M is for M, the male of the pair, N is for Nudes, we promise we won't stare.

O is for Orgasms, and those to come yet, P is for Pussy, hers is smooth and soaking wet.

Q is for Quality, our favourite type of connection, R is for Rigid and maintaining an erection.

S is for Specifics, our criteria's quite unique, T is for Time, how long until we meet?

U is for Unexpected, our chats have turns and twists, V is for V, the female of our tryst.

W is for Wanking, we share and we peek, X is for X-ray, a transparency we both seek.

Y is for You, looking for her and me Z is for Zebra... because rhyming is hard you see.

Enough of that malarkey...

Who we are:

V - Curvy queen with a killer arse and surgically enhanced boobs. Obsessed with crystals, loves Wicca, reading, indie music, documentaries, and watching a spot of motorsport at the weekend. Standing tall at 5'8, she's got a spark you won't forget and a smile which will make you want to reciprocate.

M - Tall, dark, and dad-bod handsome at 6'4. With a passion for history, reading, rock/metal music, and motorsport, he's your go-to guy for a deep conversation on any subject of randomness or a fun-filled movie night. He comes complete with stubble included, free of charge (but not below the belt).

Who we're looking for:

A fabulous female friend who shares our zest for life and chattiness, and can join us in some flirty banter. We love getting to know people and creating connections that are full of laughter and light-hearted fun. Ideally we'd like to do this online in the first instance but definitely want to meet so if you're not UK based or live miles away from the both of us, it probably isn't going to get very far I'm afraid.

Going forward:

We'd love to get to know you better on 👻. Sorry, other apps just don’t have the same sparkle or openness as 👻 does, we like to chat on Reddit first then switch to there where we can chat as a group and swap verification pics.

Interested?

Drop us a message if you’re up for some good chats, great laughs and are fine with our situation (some people are weird about us having an affair together).