I don’t know if you’ve ever dozed off in your Weetabix and then ended up with a dot of the bisk on your cheek like a bit of a mole that dries in the unseasonal warm weather and falls off into the latte you’ve just spent a mortgage payment on (but not next month as interest rates have dropped and you smartly decided to stay on variable rate) but then you pick up the paper and despair at the headlines and with a droll roll of the eyes you go back to re-reading that same paragraph of the opening chapter of Introduction to Quantum Mechanics which you thought was a recruitment guide for Halfords but now seems to be about a cat.

Maybe that was the point you then decided to come on here and browse posts and see if there is anything in this collection of detritus that might raise an eyebrow a la Roger Moore never mind the Titanic.

Maybe you just thought good grief. It’s time for something for me. Or you just never reckoned on things turning out the way they did and you just need to breathe just for a second and have someone perk you up for a bit and warm yourself on a much needed spark.

I love coffee, banter, in-jokes, and conversation. I’m interested in who you are and what brings you here. I’d love to make you smile despite yourself and where you find yourself as much as I’d want that reciprocated. I’m geeky, verbose, sarcastic, verbose, and like to repeat myself. As well as liking to repeat myself.

If any of that stirs an urge to drop a message, please say hi. Let’s make sure those expectations are suitably low. Actually, make them lower. And bring a protractor rather than a spellchecker for the Angle of the North.

Ha! Yes. In fact let’s use protractor as a word in your first message, assuming you made it this far like some kind of perverse marathon where everyone loses.