Last night, I attended a newbie night, and to be honest, I was pretty nervous leading up to it. I didn’t really know what to expect, and part of me was bracing for something that might feel a bit tacky. The venue had a neon/graffiti vibe, which I wasn’t sure about at first, but I actually ended up really liking it—the place felt welcoming.

My boyfriend and I were directed to the couples' changing room, and after we undressed, we headed over to the main bar. We grabbed a drink and sat nervously in one of the booths, barely making eye contact with anyone because we weren’t sure what to do. Eventually, more people arrived, and the host came over to give us a tour. They walked us through all the rooms, explaining everything—even down to the rules like, "Don’t stand outside or bang on the door if a private room is shut, or I will kick you out!" There was also a panic button in each room, in case something happened or the door got stuck, which was reassuring.

After the tour, we decided to play a game of pool to settle in a bit more. Honestly, playing pool in that setting felt kind of sexy—bending over, with some of the men sitting around sneaking a little peek. (And for the record, I won that game!) Once we finished, we decided to wander downstairs to see if anything was happening yet.

At first, we were just walking around when one guy asked if he could watch us. We politely said we were just exploring, but thanks for asking, and moved on. Another man, however, was a bit more persistent. He seemed to be following us, to the point where my boyfriend and I ducked into a private room and practically closed the door in his face. It was a little strange. Even later in the night, he popped up again, trailing us in hopes of catching a glimpse of something.

For a newbie night, it was mostly made up of about 5-6 couples and 10-12 single guys hoping for some action. Since it was our first time, we were mainly interested in watching another couple or being in the same room while enjoying each other. We ended up playing on our own in a private room, which worked for us.

We did learn a few lessons from the experience, though. First, we’re more confident now about being vocal and saying "no" if someone’s making us uncomfortable, and if they don’t back off, we’ll definitely speak to the staff. We also came up with some subtle signals between us for next time. For example, if we’re into a couple, my boyfriend will brush my hair behind my shoulder, and I’ll compliment something about their outfit—like her lingerie or his shoes (if he’s wearing any).

I guess, with time, we’ll become more comfortable and confident in these situations. But for a first time, I’m happy with how it went. We’ve just decided that next time, we’ll go to a busier event, where we’re less likely to feel like we’re being followed and where we can meet more couples.