Hi all. My partner and I have now been able to experience two clubs in the SE, Le Boudoir and Pleasures. I appreciate that's not huge levels of experience, but nevertheless we've been disappointed by a few things.

Here's our issue. I totally get that despite growth in the swinging scene etc it's still pretty niche and in the underground to a large extent but my lord, can we please make a push to modernise things?

We're on the younger side of things, very early 30's and late 20's respectively, and the vibe in a lot of the clubs is just not it. Some are really weird about dress codes, like heels for the girls and essentially smart for the guys, smart shoes etc. I totally understand that places don't want guys/girls coming in in trakkies etc but can we just be a bit more chill about dress codes? I'm not trying to get into a shit club in the late 90's early 00's. Isn't swinging in particular about freedom of expression? Why do we need to be so weird re club expectations. Surely the more important thing is conduct inside the club, respect, safety etc.

Also, so funny that they're so weird about house rules when lots of the clubs are so tacky inside. Does it always need to be about dungeons, black, silver, shiny? Is there nowhere that's just nice, chill, cool and pleasing to be inside? I don't want to be in a fucking dark, horrible sex dungeon.

Website design and UI for swinger clubs/websites etc are absolutely terrible. Like, god awful. Fab in particular must be making a decent amount of money? Invest in a better user experience PLEASE 🙏🏻 Enough said.

I think the vibe emanating from clubs, forums and websites are likely putting off a lot of younger people from getting involved and exploring etc. Which is a huge shame. With respect, we're keen to play with others around our age and that's not our experience of clubs we've been to. It's mostly people older, have had kids etc (also, I don't want to talk about your kids in this environment, please, so weird, why are you bringing them up in conversation.. huge turn off).

We're really keen to have more fun and love the IDEA of clubs but in practice they're just not as enjoyable as they could be.

Anyway, I get that scenes don't just change overnight but I would really be keen to see some modernization of the swinging scene in particular. Less stuffy, less BDSM'y and just a lot more relaxed and friendly.

Has anyone got any suggestions on UK based clubs that maybe have a younger scene, not as based re design etc? We'd love to have a more positive club experience.