Just to give a bit of background I’m a History Major so lots of reading and writing is the norm in my department, but last week I had two essays due on Thursday night which was god fucking awful. It was week 2 and i had two fucking essays due??? Like seriously that amazed me. Thankfully one of them got extended to the weekend which helped, but fuck man, I don’t remember the last time I’ve been this stressed because of school.

It’s Week 3 and now I’m having trouble focusing on reading. I just cannot sit down and read because I get so anxious about missing deadlines that I can’t even focus on what I’m doing. I’m constantly thinking about what I have to do three days ahead of time it and it just makes me feel like I have no time. I’m not relaxed ever. I noticed I’m lashing out at people and I just can’t control myself.

I’m not enjoying what I’m studying right now even though I love History. The busy work just piles up and up and feels so unnecessary. I understand Professors need to make sure we’re doing our work, but adding more work just doesn’t seem like the answer right now. I get so worried about writing a damn journal before Friday at 11:59 that I don’t even get to appreciate what I’m learning.

I know I’m complaining, but this isn’t what I want my education to be like. I would take a gap year but I’m a 4th year and just want my damn degree. College isn’t supposed to be easy, but going through a pandemic isn’t either. I wish the University understood this.