This one’s a doozy haha

So I’ve been seeing this guy for several months, we had the exclusivity talk about two months ago and became official about a month ago. I won’t get too into it but I really think we have a very meaningful connection and he’s very good to me.

I have a bit of sexual trauma so we waited a while to have sex and we were going to for the first time recently. Except he didn’t fit. He’s not small but I didn’t really think that was the only problem and although I was kind of nervous I was also super turned on and feeling pretty ready

Now I also just went to my first gynecologist which I initially scheduled to get birth control, but obviously I also brought up this issue. Because I mentioned issues with penetration my doctor specially said he’d use the smallest speculum he had when doing the Pap smear, but he couldn’t even end up doing it. He’s a very gentle doctor and I really trust his opinion and he comes highly recommended as well.

Basically he told me that my hymen does have a small tear, otherwise I wouldn’t even be having periods, but the tear is really too small for penetration or even a speculum. And the solution for this is pretty much an outpatient minimally invasive surgery where they put you under, make the tear surgically and you usually have like a two week “no sex” recovery period.

I feel like I have to tell him about this obviously, but like holy shit how do I explain this to a man without freaking him out?