I went on a date last night with someone who I matched with on an app months ago. We followed each other on socials but never met up. He looked familiar and I found out recently that we used to work in the same office. After that we set up a date like “oh well now we gotta meet” I realize now that in the future that is not enough of a reason for me to go on a date.

I’ll also say that I’m mostly looking for sexual play partners. I was up front about that during the date and it turns out that our specific sexual desires align. HOWEVER I realized throughout the date that I was not attracted to him.

This is when it got awkward and I know my delivery could be better. After it was clear that our desires aligned I quickly said something to the effect of “I just want to let you know I’m getting friend vibes.” So that I wasn’t giving false hope? Delivery sucked. But after that he continued to ask me “why” over and over again.

I told him that everything is foreplay and there were subtle things that felt like signs to me that it’s just not there. For example, he refers to women as girls. Culturally normalized, fair, but not attractive to me. He also made generalizations about “girls” probably like 5 times throughout the date. He kept saying “oh so you’re offended” and “those are just couple syllables”. I made the point that I’m not taking offense I understand people speak that way but it’s just not attractive to me.

He just seemed so confused and took on an attitude of trying to change my mind? Or analyze it? To the point where after I told him that his touching of my leg felt unnatural he said that “I know girls are more comfortable at my apartment with music playing and a glass of wine.”

My brain was like no. Predatory behavior. To top it off he left me with the bill for his drink.

I like to be straightforward and forthcoming on my dates. I am aware that I played a part in this (not vetting out more info, etc)

But I’m looking for advice specifically on how to exit and avoid conversions like that. Also some validation that his behavior is unacceptable?

TL;DR How do you communicate “I’m just not that into you?” Is there a more effective way to end a date early? How to navigate and communicate sexual desires vs attraction?