Just...everytime college reopens I get severely depressed to the point I start considering suicide. Last semester it got absolutely terrible and I was honestly concerned why am I feeling this way, I have never felt so bad etc. And then the holidays came and I magically felt a LOTT better instantly. I was relieved and just attributed it to stress and thought the break would be helpful. But my college reopened today and here I am feeling absolutely miserable. I just want to give up honestly. And the thing is my classes didn't even start today, just the fact that official "date" was today made me severely depressed. Every time I receive any email or college related whatsapp my day gets ruined. I feel trapped and there seems to be no way out. I can't deal with this anymore...I know what's coming-the usual college BS of unsupportive faculty, unhelpful group project partners, verbal abuse during vivas you know the drill. I don't feel like doing anything yet I get intimidated by classmates who seem to have their shit together and then I feel even worse. Nothing I achieved so far seems enough since it always feels I am wasting my time. I don't know what to do. What's wrong with me man, I know college is supposed to be annoying but I don't think anyone else feels THIS terrible and stifled.